Wednesday July 20, 2011

The keys to the rental car are ridiculous. If you put them in your pocket, don’t plan on putting anything else in there. You could use them for an anchor.

Had to go snorkeling again, it was too good. Drove up a place called Honalua Bay. The walk from the road was wild, I was walking thru a jungle. There were crazy plants with giant leaves, palms and huge ferns. I was expecting a monkey to jump out at me. At the end of the path was somebody’s ramshackle house and a guy dressed in a T shirt who gave us the rundown of the area. The snorkeling was again, amazing. It was like you were swimming in the big tank at the New England Aquarium .You could swim out to the edge of the coral and the bottom just dropped off into darkness…….By the time I left the place was pretty crowded.

Is it wrong to say that while I was swimming I ripped a huge fart that I smelled right thru my own snorkel? Probably TMI…….

Drove south to Kihei to check out another part of the island. Nothing special, more condos and T shirt shops. Walked along the ocean then booked a Luau for tomorrow night and a flight home for the day after tomorrow.

Early this morning, I received a text that I was waiting for……A baby Koala Traidenukus was born. Meskiuk, I feel happiness thru you, just like always. Some people are Red Sox fans, some are fans of a Lady Gaga. I’m a fan of you and your amazing journey, from your days of lying on top of the hay cart staring at the stars, to putting little chicks in your pocket and pulling the stake from the ground and hearing it clink, clink, clink all the way back to the barn……..to today. This is another chapter in your incredible story…...

The spirit of Paulina is as strong as ever….it flows from a hill and little rock in the fields of Spitrania thru generations……Labutes Mazus Traindenuk!!! Did a rabbit nibble your ausytes?

Tuesday July 19, 2011

Drove to a town called Lahaina on the west coast of Maui. Walked the touristy main street, bought 7 T-shirts for $20, booked a hotel room, rented some snorkel gear, for $3 and hit the water.

Obviously there are public beaches along the Hawaiian coastline, but these beaches are so user friendly, they are an absolute pleasure to visit. Parking is free and the grass leading to the water resembles a putting green. It is so nice to walk on. There’s clean bathrooms, and excess of showers that rinse you with WARM water (ever try to rinse off at Salisbury?), great picnic tables and usually some pretty nice sand on the beach. All the while, it’s that steady 83 degrees…..it’s like heaven.

Snorkeling was unbelievable, by a mile the best snorkeling experience of my life. Two feet from the edge of the water were coral reefs that were just teaming with every kind of crazy colored fish you could imagine, even turtles. The water is so warm that you could stay in all day. It was the highlight of Hawaii for me so far….

Had, of all things, a cheeseburger for dinner, at a place called Cheeseburger in Paradise, walked the shops at night, saw some nice artwork, some not so nice artwork, lots of jewelry, surf shops, natives carving turtles and masks out of wood, and a slew of crazy characters. Had a cheesecake flavored gelato and called it a day.

Monday July 18, 2011

Off to Maui…traveling from island to island is a breeze. Flights go often and are seldom more than $100, often less. The airports are almost all outside, the check in, the waiting area, and even the baggage claim all are in areas open to the sky. It’s pretty cool…..in fact many things you’d see indoors at home can be found outside here….I even saw a some guys playing pool on a full slate pool table in their front yard. 83 degrees year round, why the heck not……

The flight landed in Kaihului where I proceeded to get a haircut at the mall and drive around a bit. Had some nice pasta for dinner.

Here’s a quick burst of Hawaiian snippets.

-Like I said, Hawaiians are huge proponents of preserving the environment. Windmills and solar power are everywhere. At Wal-Mart you can not get your stuff bagged in a plastic bag. There are none. You either bring your own, buy a cloth one for a buck, or corral up your purchases and bear hug them out. Pretty cool…..

-Gas is around $4.30 a gallon, but the islands are small and a lot of driving is not necessary.

-A box of cereal is $7.70, and $5.80 for some Oreos…..fruit and veg is so cheap it’s unreal.

- Back to school? August 1^st ....they get longer breaks during the year but finish in May for the summer.

-Tourists get hurt all the time. I personally saw two separate incidences where a person slipped or tripped with flip flops on and was going to be spending the next 6 to 8 weeks in a cast. The rocks and coral are sharp, the grass is slippery, and the curb will sneak up on you if you’re wearing your vacation heals for the first time in a while. Tourists are reckless and just plunge into situations that they struggle to get themselves out of, whether it’s up a trail or in the ocean. There is a major difference between the abilities of a native Hawaiian and “mainlander”….many tourist do not realize this…….and it can be funny to watch.

-There are NO seagulls. No seagulls…seriously?

-Mongoose (the snake killing animal) love Doritos, specifically, the cool ranch, blue bag kind. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Sunday July 17, 2011

The Big Island lays claim to being one of the few places one can be in eleven of thirteen “climate zones” in an hours drive. From a snow capped mountain to the heat of the beach, I drove through the heart of the island on the famed Saddle Road and experienced many of them. I will say, many of them reminded me of being somewhere else, the mountains of Colorado, the lush greens Florida, the grassy hills Montana, and the dryness Arizona……there was even a cattle ranch claiming to be the worlds largest.

Time was running out for me on the Big Island and there wasn’t much left to do but check out the beaches, walk the main street of Kona…….all of which were standard for most Hawaiian Islands.

Sadly, I felt like I hit a little low here on the Big Island. The highlight ended up being the night spent in the yurt, but it shouldn’t have been. It was cloudy most of the time and even rained quite a bit. Without the flowing lava and bright sunshine, it didn’t live up to the hype……sorry folks.

Saturday July 16, 2011

First stop of the day was too be the southernmost person in the USA. I think I accomplished it. I was on the southern tip of the southermost island in the Hawaiian chain. The first photo is me trying to get as far south as I could just to make sure.

Volcanoes National Park

Eh….it was only ok. This park is the place that you see on TV with the lava flowing all over the place even into the ocean. The lava had been flowing for 20 years or so………until 3 months ago. Basically all you could see was a giant smoking crater and acres more of the old black lava (which I saw back at the airport). Took a drive down this road to the ocean to see the spot where the lava had crossed the road and entered the ocean……boring. I was pretty bummed because I really wanted to see the flowing lava spectacle that you've all seen on TV.

The highlight of the day was staying after dark to see the crater glowing red and belching smoke into the sky at night. The red glow was obvious at night and created quite a spectacle. All in all though, Volcanoes National Park was a bust.

Let's talk about the National Parks a little. There are many reasons to visit our National Parks….one reason people want to visit a park is the “danger” that lurks there. You are supposed to fear the bear, or the dangerous canyon, or the flowing molten lava….and you should. It’s a good reason to visit many of the parks and the park system takes full advantage of this as a selling point, and so they should. The gift shop is full of stuff like books on the perilous deaths in the park, pictures of bears growling, even bear spray should you be attacked. The reality is….while they hype the “danger”, if your not a total idiot, its nearly impossible to get into any actual danger. They close roads, or entire areas if there a bear around or there’s some noxious volcanic gasses, they have secure barriers to prevent you from getting “too close” to things, and the endless signage and warnings are all about safety.

It’s like they play both sides of the coin……you could get eaten by a mountain lion or at least see the dangerous beast……but please stay on the tour bus or on the marked path. Maybe I’m thinking too much into this…..

Ended up the night in Hilo…..As you know, I always try to get as close to the people that actually live in the place I’m visiting. When driving at night I have a rule that I stop at every outdoor event that has floodlights on it. Tonight I ended up walking three laps in the local Relay for Life cancer walk. Obviously there were no tourists there and you could get a great feel for the native population. There seems to be many similarities between Alaskan’s and Hawaiians. If they don’t go to college, they end up stuck. Don’t get me wrong, stuck is not necessarily a bad thing. Especially if you live in Hawaii, but you’ll most likely end up doing some crappy tourism job and struggle with money the rest of your life. There’s definitely a huge meth problem here and teen pregnancy is a huge issue. The kids have grown up in a family system where education is not a high priority, and few end up graduating college. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying any of this is really horrible, it’s just different back home. I will say this, that Hawaiian people are among the friendliest people I’ve ever met. They are perpetually happy and are comfortable with their lives, which to me, don’t appear to be that uncomfortable……and there’s certainly something to be said for that.

The hotel room that night was the grossest ever, it had four twin beds (take your pick), and looked like it hadn’t had a good scrub down since back in the late 70’s. Eh…..whatever.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Before catching a plane to the Big Island, I wanted to catch a few waves in Waikiki. I rented a surfboard and, while it was exhausting, it was a blast. The waves were so perfect and the water was so warm. It gets pretty crowded with surfers in this one spot in the city so before entering I asked the rental guy how to handle all the other surfers. His answer, “If they are whiter than you, run them straight over and don’t say you’re sorry. Heck everyone wants to kill each other anyway right?” I did run right over a guy too…..and I have no idea whether he was whiter than me.

After a 40 minute flight, the plane landed in Kona on the Big Island. Swooped up a rental car and headed out to find the action. I immediately found myself driving on the road that I’d seen a million times on TV, the last few miles of the run of the Iron Man Triathlon Championships. You know the one, with the lava fields on both sides of the road. Hit Wally’s for a few cheap snacks and cruised through downtown Kona. It looked typical with little restaurants and T-shirt shops. I decided to keep on driving right down the coast, and head for Volcanoes National Park.

Found a great place to sleep near the park…..it was a Yurt. It was cheap, and comfortable….actually quite luxurious. It had directv and a toilet that actually burned your crap instead of flushing it. I went twice in about ten minutes and the second time I could see flames below. I guess it turns everything to ash. Hawaii is quite “green” in general. Solar panels are everywhere and they recycle like crazy.

The guy that owned the Yurts was from Jersey and had been living on the island for 30 plus years. His house reeked of weed and it was clear that most people around were into growing and smoking as much as they could. He talked about some great places to eat and even said that the neighborhood we were in was used for people entering the witness protection plan back in the 70’s and that there were a few still kicking around. The place was in this crazy grid of roads that was eight miles long and completely in the middle of a lava field. They guy who’s job it was to turn old black lava into a flat usable space for houses and driveways was making some money in this area.

On his recommendation, I ordered the local favorite for dinner at the southernmost restaurant in the USA. It was called Moco Loco and consisted of pulled pork with scrambled eggs above it and white rice below all covered with gravy. I actually loved it. There was also a trio of locals playing Hawaiian music for the ten or so patrons. The locals were pretty funny, with their huge, happy, Hawaiian grins on their faces all night.

Back to the luxuyurt for some shut eye.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Woke up this morning and looked on the computer for a list of Hawaii’s best beaches. Apparently there were several beaches I still needed to check out so I continued the drive down the eastern coastline. I turns out many of the beaches I wanted to see and possibly swim in were closed because of the presence of the man-o-war jellyfish. Apparently it seldom does, but when the wind comes from the east they all wash ashore. From what I’ve heard they can seriously wreck your day.

While were talking about beaches…..let’s discuss the unseen issues that white guy from snow country can encounter when swimming and visiting beaches for days on end. Lets just say, a white guy from New England is just not prepared. I will explain…..

First off, in my every day life, there are few occasions where it is ok to take my shirt and shoes off while I’m outside, thus my upper body and my feet are as white as the driven snow. When either my shirt or shoes come off in Hawaii, I look like a total freakshow…..You know what happens next, when trying to remedy the situation, you get the burn of your life, your skin gets tight and anything hot like a shower is nothing but agony. And in then end, you find yourself sheepishly rubbing elbows all the other snow birds in the aloe isle in Wal-Mart.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I operate for days on end without the proper undergarment beneath my shorts, more trouble arises. You start to get chaffing, serious chaffing…..and end up walking around for days like someone who’s been riding the back of a mule all day. It ain't a pretty site......but Im working on it.

The next order of the day was to return the VW POS van and return to the comfort of a hotel in Waikiki. Spent the rest of the day grabbing a few last minute souvenirs, eating some Subway, and blogging til I was bleary-eyed.

Wednesday July 13, 2011

In a last gasp effort I attempted to fish on my own but my attempts were futile…..I called it quits after 3 or so hours….there will be no Hawaiian bonefish for me....enough is enough.

I was off to see the rest of Oahu now…..

Headed for the Aloha Bowl, site of the NFL's Pro Bowl for the biggest flea market on the island. It was awful. It was geared toward tourists collecting souvenirs instead of the locals selling their stuff to other locals...it was not my style.

Next stop, the Dole pineapple factory….a complete waste of time. It could not have been more cheesy. A silly train ride through fields completely devoid of pineapples, we're talking empty, dirt fields. Outta there…

Next, the legendary surf spot known as the North Shore. This whole place exists because of the unique natural occurrence on the ocean’s floor than creates this massive wave during the winter months. If this natural wonder didn’t exist, then the North shore of Oahu would be just another pineapple plantation. But it does, and it creates a wave so big, with such a monstrous barrel that the best surfers in the world congregate here to challenge it’s forces. The Banzai Pipeline is the most famous wave in the world…but today the water was calm as glass. All I saw was four giant sea turtles down by the beach….which were pretty cool

I bought a couple of shirts at the local surf shop then had a cone of world famous shaved ice at Matsumoto’s. Pretty much everyone who visits the North Shore gets one. It turns out it’s nothing more than shaved ice, much like the stuff you’d find on a hockey rink after the second period, crammed in a paper cone with some heavy sugary syrup poured over it. I actually felt a little sick when I was finished.

What else was I supposed to do at Sunset Beach other than watch the sunset. I did, then watched a little bit of a men’s softball game. The game had some interesting rules. Home plate was located 2 feet away from the backstop fence near the on deck circle on the third base side. Where home plate was supposed to be, a black mat was located. If the ball hit the mat it was a strike. The pitchers were heaving the ball into the stratosphere while still trying to hit the mat. It also appeared you were allowed to overrun all the bases and I even saw a guy hit one over the fence only to return to the dugout after reaching first base. I didn’t have time to get any answers as monsoon rain arrived washing the game away.

Spent the night outside a 24 hr Denny’s in complete defiance of the posted 3 hour parking limit….after eating Moon’s over MiHami…..just kidding. Moon’s over MiHami…I just think that’s funny….actually I had 2 pancakes, and 4 eggs scrambled.